Newlywed Tip #6: Goal-Setting Together

About a week ago, SimpleMom posted about creating a family mission statement. It's a pretty inspiring post and makes a ton of sense. The basic premise is that as a family, how do we decide what our priorities are? If we create some type of mission statement, we can always ask ourselves whether or not something falls under our main priorities, especially when life feels too cluttered and we're trying to decide what activities to back away from.

While Javier & I have yet to create a mission statement, SimpleMom's questions have helped us have some very meaningful conversations about our goals and priorities.

Benefits of this process so far:

• Increased communication between us. We're naturally both talkative, but our conversations have taken a turn that's a little deeper than normal - getting at the heart of who we are and the direction we'd like to go as a family.
  
• Seeing what's most important to each other. I think it can be pretty easy to lose sight of this on a day-to-day basis - this is helping us appreciate each other for who we are, not who we want the other person to be.
• We get to think about our priorities as a couple. 
• We already have somewhat of a sense of "Is this really important to me right now? Or is there a better way I could use my time?" While everyone will have different priorities and different Most Important Resources, we're realizing that ours is definitely time - and we want to make the most of it.

So, whether or not you want to actually make a family mission statement, I strongly encourage you to talk with your spouse or family or just think through for yourself what some of your main priorities are. Hopefully it will be as much of a learning process for you as it has been for us!

Simple Meals (or meal-planning redefined)

One thing I've struggled with constantly since getting married is planning meals. We both work right now (more or less...) and have little time in the evenings to prepare a nice dinner. We also both usually take our lunches (unless we can make it home for lunch) which creates a little rush in the morning. Meal planning, while time consuming, has overall saved us much time, headache, and money, but especially since J returned, why couldn't we "keep up" with our meal plan?

Solution: Simplify our meals from Monday - Thursday! It sounds so obvious, but agreeing on this was rather freeing. J is perfectly content to eat simple weekday meals (really, he'd eat about anything!) and I don't have to cut my work short every day to try to have dinner ready.

We need to think of some healthier options, because it seems like most of our "simple" meals aren't the best for us, but this is a start.  A few ideas are grilled foods, salads, bulk cooking on the weekends then pulling portions out during the week. I know a lot of people try weekend cooking, but our weekends tend to be pretty busy around here, so we can't completely rely on that.

We're also attempting to plan our meals on Sunday afternoons/evenings, allowing me to grocery shop first thing Monday morning. (Which, while I "work", I'm in grad school and have some flexibility at least.)

Look for menu plans to be here again soon, and any simple weeknight meal ideas are welcome as we try planning meals with this mindset!

Newlywed Tip #5: Cultivate Your Interests

Today's post is just a quick reminder not to fall into the trap that just because you're married, you have to do everything together! Some of you who have been married longer may not struggle with this, but from many newlyweds that I've seen (ourselves included), it's pretty common to want to do everything together. That's wonderful to have that kind of relationship where you enjoy spending time together doing little things... but today I'd like to remind you: cultivate the interests that make you you and that make you a more interesting person for your spouse to be around.

If you love reading & your spouse doesn't, still try to set aside at least a little time for this activity. Or, think of a book that could at least make your spouse appreciate why you like reading so much and introduce it to him/her. For example, I've recently picked up knitting again (it's been a while!) and J is reading a bit more. We love showing or telling each other about what we're doing - and it's so much fun to share in the other person's excitement!

I'd love to hear from you - how do you make this work in your marriage? Or do you have some long-lost hobby that you'd like to pick back up? Please share in the comments!

Works for Me Wednesday: Garage Sale!

Not to sound obvious... but what works for me this week is our garage sale! No, we have not made any money on it yet because we're not even having it until this Saturday. So, why does it work for me?

Because the house feels the cleanest it's felt ever.

When we got married and moved our things into our house, there were certain items that never really made their way into use in our new household. Two people combining lives and things just meant too much clutter! We also received a lot of nice wedding gifts that replaced some of old kitchen items.

So, we've teamed up with two other newlywed couples to have a joint garage sale. We set the date a few months ago so we all had a deadline to work toward, and it will be much more fun this Saturday with our friends as well! We couldn't back out, either, because we had already committed - so yes, last weekend we spent going through every room & closet looking at anything that wasn't in use.

If you haven't scrutinized your house like this anytime recently, have had some big move, or gotten married in the past few years, I'd highly recommend a garage sale! I love knowing that most everything in our home right now is here for a reason!

For more great tips, check out Works for Me Wednesday at Rocks in My Dryer.

How to Make Cute Tinsel Ornaments

For our first Christmas together, my husband & I really wanted to make some ornaments. We don't have many of our own yet, and thought this would be a fun way to build our collection. One of my friends gave me this great idea for ornaments. Here's how you make them:

Step One: Gather supplies. Super cheap & pretty easy to find. Some tinsel (I found mine at the Dollar Tree), craft ornaments (found at Hobby Lobby or Michael's or another craft store), scissors, and a pencil!

Step Two: Remove top to the ornament.

Step Three: Use the pencil eraser to help push the tinsel inside the ornament. Stuff as much tinsel as you like inside (it doesn't take much!), then snip off any remaining pieces that are too

stubborn to be forced inside.

When you finish, put the top back on the ornament! You can hang these on your tree, give them as gifts, or put them in a bowl as a centerpiece. We opted for the last option (as we don't have a tree right now) and love the way it turned out! Let me know what you think.

Fireproof

I know this movie has been out for a little while now, but seeing as how I can't remember the last time I saw a movie in the theatre (was it really 2 years ago??), I thought this was still pretty timely. :) All I have to say about this movie, is if you are married, or ever want to get married, you should go see this movie. That's it - just go see it!

If you're at all like me, you might cringe at the rising price of movie tickets and the inevitable disappointment of the show you see. Check for a coupon in your Entertainment book, if you have one, or go to a matinee for slightly cheaper options. This movie was much more real, a whole lot less cheesy, and definitely more challenging than I had anticipated. So, if you're looking for a date night that will challenge you & your signifcant other to dig a little deeper, give this movie a shot! I don't think you'll regret it!!

Newlyweds' First Christmas!

As Christmas is very quickly approaching, we're starting to think of some ways that we can make our first married Christmas special, while also beginning to think of traditions we'd like to keep for the years to come.

For now, we've been doing a little bit of shopping for a few Christmas decorations. Both of us love the idea of decorating our house for the season, and I think this will be a fun tradition for us for years to come. I can't wait to put up a few pictures of our results!

Also, come back within the next week to find a super cute, cheap, and easy ornament idea!! We're getting the supplies to make these & I'll show you how neat they are soon. :)

For now, what is one special memory you have of your first Christmas as a newlywed? Please share... I'd love to hear ways you make your holidays special! And if you haven't had that first married Christmas yet, what is something you're looking forward to?

Works for Me Wednesday: Being Intentional

My husband & I are like most of you: busy! We've had lots of conversations about how to manage our time better, how to get things done more quickly, etc, etc. Sometimes this can be draining, and might even wear us out just talking about how we'd like to be more efficient at the everyday things in life.

So, what worked for us this past week was getting out of the house, getting some coffee, and having great conversation! We were amazed at how much better our conversation was when we could focus our attention, not being distracted by the clutter on the kitchen table or any number of other things.

I think we both knew that being intentional was important for our relationship - but we were definitely made aware of the importance again this past week!

Go here for more great tips at Rocks in My Dryer, or check out my previous Works for Me Wednesday posts.

Newlywed Tip #4: Exercising Together!

So the wedding is over, jobs are busier, you're cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry for two now instead of one... and you just can't seem to find the time to exercise that you could before the wedding! I'd be pretty surprised if I was alone in this. :) You've also lost the motivation of "I need to fit into my wedding dress". So... what now?

We've found that some of our best motivation for exercising can come from each other! It's much more fun to walk or run with someone else than to attempt this by yourself. It also keeps you accountable.

Here are 5 simple tips to help you get the most out of your exercise as newlyweds:

1. Start small!! This may be obvious, but if you try to run a marathon right off the couch, you'll hurt yourself and lose any motivation that you had before you started.

2. Pick something you both enjoy. This could be running, walking around your neighborhood, playing tennis, or even tossing the frisbee.

3. Make a plan. You're much more likely to get out and stretch your legs if you set time aside for this. (Side note: we're still working on this part! We're learning how important this really is.)

4. Better late than never. Or maybe, better something than nothing. :) Even a 10 minute walk is worth it. We find that we feel our best when we're regularly getting outside for something.

5. Be creative and have fun! Try something you haven't tried since you were a kid - like roller blading or playing basketball. Don't be scared to try something just because you haven't done it in a while, and keep trying new things until you find something you both really enjoy.

And just for fun - we love this website WalkJogRun that lets you click on a map to figure out how far you've walked, jogged, or run. Happy exercising!

*Picture taken this summer on a hike.

Date night!

Ever since my husband & I met, we have enjoyed coming up with creative ways to have a date night. Some have been frugal, some not so frugal, but recently we've realized more the benefits from living frugally - so now they mostly fall into this category. :)

Today's date night idea:
Explore your city! You may have just moved there, or you may have lived there for years - but I'll bet there are some parts you haven't driven through yet. A lot of times this is tacked onto something else for us - say, we're on the way home from dinner - but this is almost always tons of fun. We've gotten lost, found new things, stopped to check out a park we didn't know about, and just overall enjoyed some quality time together - no distractions from a dirty house, we're not watching a movie, and we can have good, uninterrupted conversation.

If you try this, let me know what you find! You may be surprised by what's in your city that you never knew was there. :)

Also, for more frugal tips, be sure to check out Frugal Friday.

Newlywed Tip #3: Creating a Budget Part Two

In my last post about creating a budget, I addressed reasons why to create one. This post will get a little more detailed on how to actually create a budget.

6 steps to creating a budget

1. The most important thing is that your budget must work for you! This may seem obvious, but if you try to use someone else's system and it's too complicated or too simple, you'll find that you aren't actually sticking to your budget. Keep this in mind while reading the rest of this post.

2. You have to decide what time frame works best for your budget. Most people tend to use a monthly budget, but if you get paid every week and prefer a weekly budget, then that's great, too! Here's one helpful suggestion from my sister: If you get paid bi-weekly, use 2 weeks of pay as your monthly income. Then, two months out of the year, you'll receive three paychecks that month. Since you haven't budgeted for this, it's like a bonus and can be put toward extra savings or some other special goal.

3. Decide which categories you would like to include in your budget. Keep it simple - having too many categories can be overwhelming. Make sure to include enough categories to cover all your purchases, though, and especially make sure to include categories for long-term savings such as for a new car, vacation, or gifts. Even though you may not spend in these categories every month, it's important to set some money aside for them.

4. Allocate a certain amount of your income into each category. This website lists some percentage guides for families of different sizes - it's an excellent place to begin when trying to determine how much to allocate to each category. (It also helps by pointing out important categories to include in your budget.) This may be obvious, but make sure you do not allocate more to expenses than you earn!

5. Find a tool to keep track of your budget. Every expense must be tracked in order for the budget to really work. Some people prefer pencil & paper, some prefer a spreadsheet they've created like Excel, some prefer a budget tool. My current personal preference is Pear Budget, a wonderful budget website that is simple yet lets me customize my budget as much as I need. They offer a free 30-day trial, then it costs $3 a month after that. While I try to save as much as possible on unnecessary expenses, I have found that the $3/month saves me a ton of time and I end up with a budget that works and keeps us on target.

6. Finally, be able to adjust! After a few months of budgeting, you may find that you don't spend quite as much on gas as you thought, but that your average power bill is a good bit higher than you accounted for. Step back, look at your numbers, and tweak them a little. Repeat this every so often and it won't be long before you have the best budget for you!

Newlywed Tip #2: Menu Planning

Countless blogs advertise the merits of menu planning. I, too, have seen how great a help it can be.

Why menu plan?

• It cuts down on stress. There's no more "What's for dinner tonight??" panic at 5:00.

• It lowers the grocery bill. You can plan your menu around what is on sale and grocery shop more efficiently. You also don't have to shop as often if you plan for a whole week, so it reduces impulse buys at the store.

• It reduces eating out or ordering take out. If you already know what's for dinner, you aren't as likely to go out. You'll go out when you've planned it and know that it's in your budget.

• You can plan healthier meals. You may be able to eat very healthy when you don't menu plan, but by planning it out you can see that you're eating balanced meals.

I learned from Simple Mom that one good approach is to have different categories that you plan by - this can help you keep the same basic plan for several weeks, just by changing the meal in the category. For example, you can fix something Mexican on Monday, have breakfast for dinner on Tuesday, have a pasta dish on Wednesday, etc.

Stay tuned - I'll be posting my menu plans here as part of Organizing Junkie's Menu Plan Monday!

Newlywed Tip #1: Creating a Budget Part One

While these tips are titled "Newlywed Tips", my hope is that they may be beneficial for you even if you've been married longer - they just may have more relevance for newlyweds.

Why create a budget?

As part of our pre-marital counseling, we were supposed to create a workable budget for after we were married. This has proven to be one of THE most useful things for our marriage. We are, I would say, fairly "average" for Americans our age as far as our income goes. However, by actually categorizing where our money goes, we realized how important it is to stick to our budget.

This helps us in a number of ways. I am, by nature, more of a saver than Javier. The budget therefore helps me feel free to spend more money than I might otherwise. I can see that we have allocated a certain amount each month for eating out, so I don't have to feel guilty when we eat out, or think about what else we could be spending the money on, since those "other things" already have money allocated to them in their respective categories.

For Javier, the budget acts more as a restraint. He is more inclined to spend than I am, so this helps him see how much we have available and how much we have left to spend for the month.

We are still in the process of tweaking our budget until it's just right - we have to make sure we have enough allocated to cover all of the bills and not too much in the less necessary categories. However, the budget enhances our communication and also prevents a lot of stress from constantly having to discuss how to spend our money.

I'll write more on this topic later - but if you'd like to see some excellent budget creation resources, check out this page of the Crown Financial Ministries website.